The words of love I thought of tonight, as thousands lined the streets of Birmingham in a loving farewell to Ozzy Osbourne.
Sharon and Ozzy didn’t love each other in a tepid, lukewarm way. Theirs was a fierce, passionate love. Not an easy love, sometimes it was complicated and messy, just like life is.
They loved each other through 43 years of marriage, navigating countless dramas, addiction, cancer and Parkinson’s diagnoses.
The Osbournes are a close and loving family, witnessed by many of us on their MTV reality show. They laughed and shouted together in equal measure – they don’t do ‘tepid love.’
Fans of all generations gathered today, with an instinctive need to show their appreciation for the Prince of Darkness and how important his music was to their lives. Friends of mine also grieved for their Dads, who had introduced them to Ozzy’s music. Personal grief often bubbles up at times like this.
Flowers were thrown as the hearse carrying Ozzy’s coffin moved along Broad St, in scenes that echoed the procession of the late Princess Diana.
Our tender hearts sometimes need to unite and mourn together. ‘Tears are just love with nowhere else to go’, and today, the tears flowed and hugs from strangers were offered in support.
Love that isn’t ‘tepid’ needs to be expressed and honoured. Broad Street in Birmingham was closed to traffic from 7 a.m, when fans began assembling to catch a glimpse of Ozzy’s cortege.
Sharon looked crumpled by grief, supported by the children as she stopped to lay a purple rose among the tributes left by fans. I hope they felt comforted and strengthened by the force of love from the crowds, ahead of a private family funeral service tomorrow.
We need these collective rituals when someone we love has died. Somewhere to lay our flowers; a place to pour the sadness and grief; a chance to share stories of how much someone meant to us, as we stumble in a world that just isn’t the same without them.
The famous Funeral Blues poem by W.H.Auden, which featured in the film ‘Four Weddings and a Funeral’ echoed this, ‘Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone…’ Things have changed and the world has lost some if its brightness with the death of Ozzy Osbourne.
We cherish our memories, like his final gig, when he took to the stage sitting on a throne, like a tired Shakespearean King. He still sparkled with a phenomenal performance that was anything but ‘tepid’. Ozzy was still the charismatic frontman of Black Sabbath, despite his physical frailty.
Ozzy loved music, and was able to share that love with fans and raised over £140 million for charities in recent weeks. An incredible legacy for the much loved Brummie.
When you love with all your heart, your grief will not be ‘tepid’. Grief is a continuation of the love you have for someone, and it takes work.
I write a lot about love and grief in my work as a Funeral Celebrant, and I’ve had the privilege of sharing the life stories of hundreds of people. By truly celebrating their lives, and honouring how much they meant to family and friends, we hold them close again, for a gentle farewell.
No one looks forward to a funeral, we often dread going to them – but I’m profoundly moved by how uplifted people feel after a service.
I receive countless hugs from mourners as they leave a chapel, often saying that they ‘enjoyed the service’, before adding, ‘if that doesn’t sound strange.’ And it’s not strange, as I write a lot about Love, and it brings comfort to hear about the Love you share with someone.
There is often a little laughter alongside tears during a service, and afterwards when we chat among the flower tributes. There is always Love. Rarely is it ‘tepid love.’
Funerals don’t have to be conventional, they can be as Rock & Roll as Ozzy. I delivered a service for a Hell’s Angel, whose coffin arrived in a Motorbike hearse, his widow proudly riding pillion, with a procession of bikes roaring alongside.
Sometimes everyone gathers wearing Football shirts, singing songs from the terraces, or it might be sequins and feather boas, as we dance to Abba. I’ve served shots of Tequila as we closed a service, or handed out Rubik’s cubes, bars of Cadbury’s chocolate, or spritzes of Lush perfume.
As a Celebrant, I work incredibly hard to look after each family, listening to their stories and following the threads of love which makes every service unique.
The people you love may not be as famous as Ozzy, but they deserve to have their life celebrated and honoured in the best possible way, for all those whose lives they touched.
There has been an increase in ‘Direct Cremations’ in recent years, after millions spent on TV adverts. But this usually means we lose the chance to say a proper Goodbye to our loved one, and the instinctive ritual of coming together to celebrate their story is absent.
I’m hearing that for many families this is something they regret, and it can delay or prolong the natural grieving process. ‘Denial’ is one of the recognised stages of grief, and without a funeral, our subconscious can struggle to comprehend that someone has truly gone. A sense of closure is missing.
Something to consider, after a day when comfort has been found in thousands of people coming together to pay tribute to Ozzy.
Today’s collective show of love and grief for Ozzy is a reminder of how important it is for us to gather and share our tender hearts. His was not an easy life, but it was a life so full of Love.
That’s what stays with us, long after someone has gone. The Love we shared with them.
So I’ll close with those simple words I read years ago, that stayed with me.
Never Love Anyone Tepidly.
Image of Neon love sign thanks to Shaira Dela Pena at Unsplash
