There’s a beautiful question to ask yourself regularly, ‘Will this experience enrich or shrink my life?’
I was busy writing a service a few weeks ago, when the phone rang. It was an amazing professional invitation, and completely unexpected.
I nearly turned it down.
Why did I consider saying no, when invited to deliver the Keynote speech at the annual AOIC Celebrant Conference?
Partly because I’d forgotten the beautiful question.
And because I still have ‘Imposter Syndrome.’
I imagine that everyone else knows more than me. Or is better than me. Or more confident. That I’m just not as good as everyone else.
Do you know this feeling? It’s very common, practically contagious…
For some of us, it’s how we were brought up. Or maybe it began in school, or at work. Or in your relationships later in life.
Experiencing the foster care system as a child, I’ve got proof that I’m not as good as most people. I was rejected by several families before I was even a year old. I wasn’t good enough for them, and that never leaves you.
You probably have your own reasons for ‘Imposter syndrome.’
But sometimes, we need to have a little conversation with ourselves. The way we might give a friend a pep talk, when they need their confidence boosting.
Remind yourself that you are a good person. You might be a loving parent, a loyal and caring best friend, and a professional with years of experience and knowledge to share with others.
Consider that it might be rude to say no to the next invitation to step outside your comfort zone. If you need a gentle nudge, sometimes you have to provide it for yourself.
It’s O.K. if you don’t know everything. Only someone with an enlarged sense of their own importance might think that they know absolutely everything. (Several politicians spring to mind…)
But it’s good to pass on the knowledge, skills and understanding that life has taught you.That’s what we’re here for, to give our best away, and hope that it helps someone else.
I’m honoured that AOIC invited me to deliver the Keynote speech. (That sounds so grown up, just typing it!) They asked me to share my Celebrant experience from recent years, along with the communication and presentation skills I learned from decades in radio.
They also asked me to run a writing workshop at the conference. I’ve loved running these creative sessions for over 15 years, so I can help support this side of Celebrant work.
I look forward to meeting new and established Celebrants, where we’ll all share our experiences. I’ll learn as much in conversations over coffee and lunch, as I will in official sessions.
None of us knows everything, but those of us who strive for excellence in our professional practice will be keen to listen as much as we speak. Together we’ll help each other.
And there should be cake…
Since I nervously said yes to the invitation, I’ve made notes on so many things to share at the conference, I could probably speak for 24 hrs straight! Not that anyone would want that…
Next time you receive an invitation, why not challenge your inner ‘Imposter Syndrome’, to be of service to others. If you have a human wobble of confidence, it’s probably a good sign that you’re not an egomaniac.
Don’t forget that beautiful question.“Will this experience enrich or diminish my life?” It’s useful for so many decisions. Like volunteering for something – yes, it probably will enrich your life.
There may also be cake.
Thanks to Ananth Pai at Unsplash for delicious looking cake photo.
