Tag: Chocolate

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Gratitude for the smallest room in your home

I hope you’ve enjoyed the recent festive days, however they were this year. 

Our plans changed when half the family had flu – so mine was mostly spent looking after others, in between eating cheese…

Maybe yours was busy & noisy, full of joyful chaos, but without a minute to yourself?

Sometimes the only moment of peace you get is by going to the smallest room in your home, and shutting the door on the world. 

In a cafe recently I saw a poster about ‘Toilet Twinning’, which stated that 1 in 3 people around the world do not have access to a safe and hygienic toilet. 

I had to read it again.

1 in 3 people around the world do not have access to a safe and hygienic toilet. 

Something so simple, that we often take for granted, being able to pop to the toilet whenever you need to. 

Unless you’re stuck on the M6 in stationary traffic for hours. 

Or if your 3 yr old decided their cuddly crocodile wanted to swim along the U bend.

Or if you’re on a crowded train and the toilet door has that dreaded sign saying ‘Out Of Order.’

Whether you’re George Clooney, Madonna or Oprah Winfrey, when you’ve got to go… you’ve got to go!

I now have a new appreciation for access to a toilet. 

Perhaps after staying with family over Christmas, where 19 of you might be queueing for the same loo, it’s a luxury to get home!.

A Gratitude Practice is a good habit for a New Year. Just notice a few simple things you’re grateful for each day. That’s it, pretty much.

As you notice the little things you appreciate in life, the easier it becomes to find more of them to be grateful for. 

You can even try doing an ‘A – Z of Gratitude’, a useful technique when insomnia strikes and your mind gets stuck in endless worry loops. (I’m grateful Armadillos exist, what amazing creatures beginning with A…)

By calmly turning your attention to some positive things, it helps to balance alongside the difficult stuff that we all face in life. 

Try it when you’re brushing your teeth before bed, or when you put the kettle on for a cuppa. Having a regular time or place helps to anchor a habit. Or you may prefer to write them in a notebook by your bed.

January can be a time of New Year Resolutions that are harsh, and hard to maintain. I used to spend 31st December wolfing down all the chocolate, determined that I’d give it up for the next year, and somehow manage 365 days chocolate free.

As if!

Finally I wised up, and instead of dramatic restrictive resolutions, I opt for tiny nudges. Like choosing dark chocolate instead, which has less sugar and usually lasts longer.

And a Gratitude Practice is an old favourite, always worth returning to.

Some people use an empty jar and from 1st January, write down something each day to appreciate, and then stash the scraps of paper in the jar. 

At tough times, you can take a few moments to delve into your Gratitude Jar, and reread some things you’re grateful for.

You could even take the jar into the smallest room in the house, if that’s the only place you have a few moments of peace and quiet. 

Maybe that’s the first thing to note down – gratitude that you have access to a safe and hygienic toilet, so you can wee in peace in 2025!

I’m off to wash up an empty peanut butter jar, to be transformed into a Gratitude Jar… and sending you my best wishes for the New Year.

Thanks to Simon Arthur at Unsplash for the photo of an outdoor toilet with a fabulous view…

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How to do New Year: one carrot & cutlery drawer at a time…

As it’s already January, Happy New Year greetings to you! A time of optimism as we look ahead, and ‘dwell in possibility’, as the poet Emily Dickinson wrote.

But don’t expect too much from yourself, be gentle.

Baby steps.

When a ship wants to change course, the rudders shift by small amounts, but gradually the ship turns and heads in the right direction.

So if you plan to get healthier, don’t try running 10K on 1st January & existing on kale smoothies… Just try scrubbing a carrot & crunching on it while you make dinner. Or throwing a handful of frozen peas into a pasta sauce to add an extra portion of veg towards your 5 a day.

If you plan to declutter the whole house & live a stylish minimalist life worthy of Instagram, just start with the cutlery drawer. It’s a 10 minute job that gives you a tiny win straight away & a natural hit of dopamine to mark the achievement.

Just don’t get rid of the hamster or the children, no matter how messy they might be today…

It’s tempting to imagine January 1st on the calendar signals a whole new You. Been there & done that. It didn’t work.

How could it? January can be a bleak, cold & dark month… especially if you’ve given up chocolate.

Again.

I’ve lost count of the years that 31st December would be spent polishing off every Quality Street, Roses & After Eight in the house… swearing that the following year would be one free from chocolate.

Then Cadburys would bring out the first Creme Eggs in early January, and it would be rude not to!

Growing up in Birmingham, with family & friends working in Cadburys chocolate factory, & having a name like Charlie, associated with a proverbial Chocolate Factory…

So from my 40’s onwards, I’ve figured out that this is never going to work. Instead I aim for the slightly healthier option of darker chocolate.

Baby steps.

Initially it was 70%. But then I worked my way up to 85%. And occasionally the hardcore option of 100% cocoa. But work your way up gradually to that, it’s not for the faint hearted.

Lots of small decisions are yours to make over coming days, weeks, and months of 2022.

So start small, but be consistent. Be realistic. And before you judge yourself harshly as needing major improvement, first try a little Gratitude.

Sprinkle that on with the goji berry/linseed sprinkles on top of your Acai bowl, or whatever the trendspotters predict we’ll be noshing this year.

Appreciate that you’ve made it through whatever 2020 & 2021 hurled your way. And let’s be honest, they were not the easiest of years for any of us.

So whatever you’ve personally been dealing with, and might be utterly exhausted by, you made it through. So reward yourself with a New Year’s Honours list title of your own. I’m sure the Queen won’t mind.

What will you name it? The, ‘I home schooled my kids while juggling work Teams meetings, delivering shopping for vulnerable neighbours & not throwing a tantrum when the petrol stations had a petrol crisis that wasn’t really a petrol crisis, but the pumps were empty?!’

Actually you could try doing less.

In fact, try doing nothing.

How radical would that be?

Just for a few minutes a day. No laptop or phone screen, just set a kitchen timer if you want to mark the 5 minutes.

And maybe carve out a few minutes of chill-out time every day just for yourself. No expectations of achieving anything.

Not doing anything.

Just being.

It doesn’t matter if you call this Meditation, or daydreaming, or just sitting.

In fact, if you’ve got a chair or sofa to curl up on for these sacred 5 minutes of peace, with a view of a tree – you can call it Tree time.

Or Cat time, if you’ve got a cat who would love to be adored for 5 minutes of your undivided attention. Just relaxing and giving yourself a break will help.

You can try focusing on your breathing. Nothing fancy, just noticing the air as it goes in through your nostrils, then down into your lungs, and finally filling your belly.

Let it rise, without judgement of the size or shape of your belly.

Be like a toddler who feels pure joy and wonder at their curving tummy, do not use tabloid journalist body shaming.

Allowing your belly to softly fill with air helps you to deepen and gently slow down each breath, making it more relaxing & nourishing.

This gentle attention on your breath helps give your brain a little ‘popcorn’ to snack on. This is less stressful than you trying to completely empty your mind & clear out your busy brain.

But it subtly takes your attention away from the 1001 worries that can swirl around your head like scrambled eggs in a washing machine.

Just giving you a few minutes breathing space can help calm your system down. This can boost your immune system, slightly lower your blood pressure a little and help to sooth the primitive part of the brain that may have been on constant Fight or Flight response mode in recent years.

Think of it as smoothing over a design flaw from centuries ago, as you help yourself trust that no woolly mammoth is about to chase you. Back then we didn’t have phone screens & 24 hour news channels that constantly flashed up woolly mammoth equivalents…

So that’s a good way to begin your New Year’s resolutions, by doing 5 minutes less every single day of 2022.

You may come to relish these few minutes as total bliss. Looking forward to a chance to de-stress and chill-out in peace no matter how demanding the rest of the day is.

Oh, and don’t forget the carrot.

Or the cutlery drawer. But only if you want to… baby steps.

**Would you like to try a monthly Mindfulness & Journalling session on Zoom? In small friendly groups where beginners are welcome alongside more experienced writers.

Where we practice new techniques that work on your Superpower of Mindfulness, in a relaxed & creative way. Where giggling & daydreaming are encouraged alongside fresh inspiration. Where you’re always welcome to share the things we think & write, but there’s never any pressure to do so.

If so, drop me a line & you’re welcome as a guest on the 2nd Sunday morning, or 2nd Monday evening of each month. Next sessions are 9th Jan at 10.30am, and 10th Jan at 7pm. All you need is pen & paper, and maybe a cuppa. Oh, and chocolate if you like… the higher cocoa content the better!

Photo thanks to Green Chameleon at Unsplash.
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Lessons from the swing…

(photo thanks to Justin DoCanto at Unsplash)

This afternoon I had a long to-do list, on the last day of a hectic March. It was sunny outside. People say if you put your laptop in a cardboard box, you can still work in the sunlight, without it making the screen illegible.

But that hasn’t worked for me yet. Squinting through my varifocals, I still can’t see the screen clearly.

And did I mention it was sunny outside?

I’d already put the washing on the line, a simple Spring ritual I relish. Living in a flat for most of my life, with no garden, means I still love the novelty of a peg. Pegging clothes for sunlight & fresh breezes to dry is still a joy. Even when the entire wash seems to consist of 137 socks, I love to peg. One sock is always hiding, ofcourse…

After the washing, I should have been getting on with my to-do list. Emails to reply to, emails to write, emails to send, articles to write, sessions to plan etc. But it was sunny outside. And the forecast for tomorrow didn’t have big yellow cartoon sun symbols on it, so it probably won’t be sunny tomorrow.

So it would be rude not to go outside, wouldn’t it?

I wrote a funeral service last week, for my work as a Civil Celebrant, and wrote a line about how important it is sometimes in life to ‘turn our faces to the sun’. And right now, so many loved ones are struggling with all sorts of things, and life in 2021 is far from simple for any of us at the moment. We’re all just doing our best.

Sometimes we really do have to turn our faces to the sun. Not just metaphorically, although that is certainly true. When things get really difficult, stressful and broken, sometimes we have to remind ourselves to try and find that chink of light that Leonard Cohen wrote about. ‘There is a crack in everything… that’s where the light gets in.’

Over the last year of lockdown, many of us have had to repeatedly remind ourselves, or nudge ourselves to turn our faces to the sun, to try and find some light in the darkest of days, as that is the only way we can keep going. Finding our way out of the dark one tiny bit at a time.

And sometimes you just have to go and sit in the sunshine in the garden, on the swing and enjoy the sun. It can be rare in the UK, so if it’s at all possible, when we can, to go out and relish and appreciate it. Even just a half hour break, with a cup of tea.

Humans are a lot like plants… some sunshine, and water helps us grow in places where we’re welcomed. Just sitting in the garden, hearing the chattering of bird song, watching robins, blackbirds, sparrows and blue tits at the bird feeders and then splashing around in the bird bath.

Seeing the signs of new leaves growing on the lilac and blackberries, and last year’s chard getting a spurt of new growth. Gazing at the cuddly furry bees waggling around, and spotting butterflies just doing whatever they were doing fluttering round our little garden.

Bliss. Utter bliss.

I’m not so important that my to-do list couldn’t wait till tomorrow. Sometimes we just need to sit and do nothing at all, other than observe what is going on around us. Notice the world carrying on quite happily in spite of whatever dramas are currently consuming us.

Then I went for walk and called a friend who is still recovering from surgery. She sounded a lot brighter and much more herself than when we last spoke, and is able to go for short walks or hobbles. This is the good stuff. All part of that sunshine we turn our faces towards, with gratitude. Finding the cracks where the light gets in won’t always involve actual sunlight. Although on days like today it does.

I took a book outside, ‘The phonebox at the edge of the world’, which a friend had kindly sent as a gift. One of those exquisitely written books that you want to read just a few pages at at time and savour each phrase like a morsel of the finest chocolate truffle.

So after a few pages, I marked the page and tucked it in the shade under the swing and savoured the last few minutes of sun. I had to move the swing around a few times as the sun moved, or tucked behind buildings. This reminded me of that phrase ‘turn our faces to the sun’. Sometimes it takes a bit more work than that, like getting up and moving the swing, or chair.

Sometimes it takes walking to the local park, or driving to somewhere open, or flying off on holiday to be in the sun… maybe one day in the future we’ll be able to do that again. But for now, if you’re lucky enough to have a garden, or local park, and we’re lucky enough to get some sunshine through April… we can turn our faces to the sun and let it shine on us.

If you take your chocolate eggs with you, keep them in the shade, or you might need a teaspoon to enjoy your chocolate smoothie!

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What to put in your ‘Festive First Aid’ Kit?

Not ideal news from the government the week before Christmas… your plans for festive celebrations may now be crumpled up and chucked in the recycling bin. Meeting up with loved ones may be postponed till next year, families and friends separated by the Tier system and even the turkey is now sulking in the freezer.

Scrolling the list of what we’re not allowed to do may prompt tears of frustration, anger and sadness. So what can we do? Tiny things might help. If you could pack two or three simple things into an impromptu ‘Festive First Aid kit’, what would you choose? Not including people – sorry, we know that’s been forbidden so much this year. But have a quick think and see what tops your list.

It could be ‘Netflix, Coffee & Doughnuts’, or ‘Cheese, Wine & a Karaoke machine’, or’ Pizza, a knitted Dalek and a Rubik’s cube’. (One of those answers is from the man I love!) Whatever gets you through these strange times, there’s no right or wrong answer. Books and chocolate are two things that make everything better. In my world anyway. There’s usually several of each on the go at any one time, and both have helped me survive the uncertainties of 2020. So far.

Hopefully over these festive days, you’ll be able to enjoy some contact with those you love. If a little differently this year. Maybe you’re meeting up in permitted bubbles, to enjoy food and muffled giggles in well ventilated rooms? Or a brisk walk in bracing December air and if you’ve got really long arms, maybe a socially distanced hug? Or this might be the year of virtual connection. Skyping with a mince pie & mulled wine, while your Santa jumper jingles, or a cosy phone call wearing pyjamas & chatting with family in different Tiers or Time zones?

Not how we’d choose it. And not easy for anyone. But ‘this is how it is for now’, as my friend Sue concludes, for this year. She’ll be on her own this Christmas, and has practical plans to navigate the big day. Hopefully a walk by the sea when others are having lunch, so it’ll be quieter and safer for someone who’s had to shield for much of this year already. A good book to read, a film on Netflix, and cooking something from the freezer for a late lunch. In between, Sue will be talking to friends and relatives spread around the globe, with gratitude to technology for the connection. She will muddle along through stoically. As many of us will aim to.

Because this is how it is, for now.

It might help to remember that simple phrase & repeat it to frustrated loved ones who are sad, angry and upset at the change of rules ushered in this weekend by the government. Not the first time they’ve done a U-turn, and we’ve all had to delete our plans this year. And for many it does feel heartbreaking. But even if it doesn’t feel like it, this will pass. Not just because of the vaccine, but because eventually everything does pass. From the serious stuff to the more ridiculous like 80’s haircuts; everything in nature will pass, including each of us one day.

We’re approaching the Solstice, and Winter echoes this, the season of letting go. Like the leaves effortlessly released from tree branches that turn to mulch and eventually return to the soil to help new things grow and flourish. So this year we’re having to practice letting go of the Christmas we usually have; we planned to have; we wanted to have. And hopefully some good things will grow and flourish next year.

Because this is how it is, for now.

In the meantime, we muddle through as best we can. For those who have lost loved ones this year or any year, Christmas is never easy. To deny the human instinct to hug each other, feels wrong as we seek to sooth each other in our grief . It’s easy to feel powerless and overwhelmed at the prospect of more uncertainty ahead for months or years of the unknown.

But for now, let’s just make a tiny plan. Not a Baldrick style ‘cunning plan’, just a simple plan. What small things in a ‘Festive First Aid kit’ might help you get through the surreal 2020 ‘festive days’ ahead? Whether you’ll be alone, or with family or housemates, trying to keep to the rules and create the best possible celebration for those close to you.

Make sure you’ve got access to a few simple treats that make your world just that tiny bit brighter. Something comforting to eat or drink, which can be as simple as your favourite teabags or crisps. Maybe stash away a few of the purple foiled chocolates from the big tub if the kids usually grab your favourites first. I won’t tell! And try to find something that occupies your mind or hands, like a book or jigsaw, maybe knitting, or your favourite funny TV show, and carve out some time to enjoy them.

If you’re able to, take a short walk and notice charcoal silhouetted tree branches, and robins permanently auditioning for a Christmas card photo shoot. Even if you’re not feeling full of festive joy, you might smile at how the neighbours’s children have drawn snow scenes on their front windows. It is just a short few days, and these little things might help get you through.

This is how it is, for now.

Books and chocolate are always my First Aid. A current favourite is ‘The Book of Joy’, by the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu. Both leaders have lived through decades of unimaginable horror for their countries, with so many people suffering. Yet these two wise friends can still find hope and joy in the world; and they make each other giggle like naughty schoolboys at times! It’s a delicious read, and highly recommended. I’ve sent a few copies as gifts this year and hope they help loved ones that are struggling.

Good luck with your Festive kit. I’ll find a zip bag, squish my books and chocolate inside and stash it away for my ‘Festive First Aid kit’. If the chocolate melts, I’m sure the Dalai Llama and Desmond Tutu won’t mind. It’s always Fair Trade chocolate, and would make them laugh with pure joy.

©2026 Charlie Jordan